If you listen, the Universe or whatever higher power you believe in is sending you clues.
On the Empowered Wisdom hour podcast I listened to this morning, Molly MacCartney led us through a meditation where we visualized our journey in a literal sense, through this big, expansive field. We were tired. Cold. Hungry. But kept pushing on to the perceived end result, the goal of wherever we were trying to get to. Then we came across a little old cabin. Inside, the fire was lit and it was warm. All of these wonderful ingredients were laid out to make a delicious hot meal. And by the end of the story, you realize that it’s okay to stop and rest for the night, to replenish your body, and maybe fill your heart and soul cup, too, while you’re at it. The end result will be what it will be, and it will always be there waiting. So take the time to stop and enjoy the journey.
“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished”
– Lao Tzu
This quote comes to me quite often on the little paper piece of the tea bags that I use. Just because it’s been commercialized, doesn’t make it untrue. It is really comforting to me and a great reminder that it is okay to not accomplish everything all at once. All of my health, personal and career goals are going to evolve and work themselves out, and that won’t always happen in giant leaps. Especially with the fatigue that comes along with MS, I am no longer able to push myself as hard as I used to to get to the end of the to do list each day. I hit my wall at about 3pm and just don’t have as many high efficiency production hours a day. I have had to accept this and remind myself that making progress a little bit at a time is better than no progress at all.
This little gem of a quote is about patience, about appreciating and living in the moment. It’s about self acceptance and being kind to yourself. To me it also means you have to trust the process and enjoy it, otherwise you miss out on everything in between if you’re just focused on the end result. Not to mention the stress and anxiety you’ll acquire from fixating on some other place that you are not at yet. Let your destination be a by product of showing up everyday with some heart and intention. It’s okay. You’ll get there.
The card I drew this morning from my Mystical Shaman Oracle deck was “many paths”. Funny how that should come up now while on a global scale, many of us have been forced to put aside a lot of the distractions of our daily lives because the running around to get to the end goal isn’t possible at the moment. It has made some of us contemplate the path we are on, and what power we have over our life experience. As the card explains, “What you bring to your journey is what will determine if yours is a path of suffering, a path of wisdom, a path of bliss, or a path of loss.” Everyone has challenges in this life, and MS, for me, has brought this concept front and center.
Recognizing the beauty and lessons in the journey, and having the patience to let everything unfold in it’s due time has been one of my biggest enlightenments in the past year. Of course I have goals. But, I’ve decided to not obsess about how I get there, or what exactly the end result looks like. Ultimately, I can’t just stick my head in the sand, either, and expect progress. Surrendering to the powers that be doesn’t mean inaction. I’m just choosing to embrace each step along the way, and not worry about what doesn’t even exist yet.
I’ve read many times that getting attached to a certain outcome is a huge source of pain and suffering. Here is one way I convey this concept. I’ve had the Duolingo app on my phone for well over a year now. At first I would go through phases of practicing somewhat regularly, and then not looking at it for months. I realized that my end goal of learning to speak Spanish was actually holding me back. I would practice for a few days, feel good I learned a couple of words, and then scroll down at all of the lessons I have yet to do, and get discouraged. Speaking Spanish was hours and hours and hours away from me! I would think, “this is pointless.” At that rate, I said to myself, when I do the math it’ll take me 2 years to have a conversation with someone. But, I came to realize, if I let that go, and just do a little bit each day, that time passes anyway and all of a sudden I will be speaking Spanish. It’s the inevitable by product without all the stress on my progress each day or focusing on how far I have to go still. I’ve now been doing 5-10 minutes a day for 134 days! And gosh darn it if I can’t string a few words together to make a sentence. This process really relates to life as a whole, I think. I’ve come a long way, and I have a long way to go. All I need to do, is show up each day and trust that I am exactly where I am supposed to be.
Let’s face it, guys. There are a lot of scary things out there. Deadly viruses, murderers, and the like. The fear of failure, that what I am doing is the wrong choice. The reality is, a lot of what I am experimenting with for my health or with other life endeavors might not work out. And that is quite alright, because I can tell you that in all my 33 years of wisdom, that the only guaranteed way for it to not work out, is to not try.
So, what am I looking into next? Breathing. Turns out we are all doing it wrong. Google it, there are a ton of reasons, including immune support, as to why we should slow down, get back to the basics, and make sure we’re doing it properly. We don’t become better humans over night, so I’ll be adding some daily breathing exercises into my repertoire. Can’t be too hard to mess up, right? And it’s something I have to do anyway. Wish me luck 😉
Always with love,
Aimee
Living with MS 